


I know why (and so do you)

by AllMyKindsOfThings



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 1941, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancing, F/F, Slow Burn, another character will appear too... guess who, mentions of Rose Tyler and her past relationship with the Doctor, thasmin in the 40's, the rating is for later chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-08-29 21:38:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllMyKindsOfThings/pseuds/AllMyKindsOfThings
Summary: At Graham's request, Team TARDIS (re)visits 1941. And the world doesn't stop when the Doctor dances. Or does it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First, I am in NO WAY an expert on 1941. I did a little research but probably not enough to be 100% accurate. So please, don't take inaccuracies on me. But do mention them cause I'm interested :) 
> 
> Second, a big, GIGANTIC, BIGGER ON THE INSIDE thank you to Myka, my betareader. Without you, there would be no stories from me. Your encouragement and help are way too precious for this world! Thank you! 
> 
> Third, I hope you enjoy it! See you at the end ;)

It’s not that they had turns to pick where they wanted to go. Most of the time, the TARDIS is taking care of that for them. But today, it seems that no emergency is scheduled and no one is in perilous danger. Their day is perfectly open.

“Let’s see… Graham! Your turn! Give me a destination! Any place, any time! Go!” says the Doctor, not even bothering to hide the excitement in her voice.

“Well, Doc…see… I’ve been fascinated by the Blitz time in London… more particularly the music of that period, the 1940’s that is… But it’s not exactly a fun destination I’m af-” before he can continue on and apologize for his poor no-fun choice, the Doctor cuts him. 

“Oh! Brilliant! But… I’ve been there once. Well, I’ve been in a part of London in 1941… I was a man back th-I met a man back then! Guess what, usually I’d say no but I guess if we arrive a couple of days earlier than me, it should be fine.” the Doctor reflects, thinking back to her time then. Rose, Jack, the child. She remembers how happy it made him that everybody lived for once. His first true happy ending since the war. Oh, and the dancing… 

“Doc? Are you with us?” says Yaz who notices the blonde woman being lost in her own thoughts. She gently puts her hand on the alien’s back, trying to comfort her from the painful memories passing by. It would seem Yaz has the gift to know when that happens. And she always manages to pull the Doctor out of them. They stare into each other's eyes for a second and it’s almost too much for the Timelord who breaks the spell.

“Of course I’m with you! London, 1941, here we come! Oh but you might want to change… we’re going to an underground club! First hallway on the left, then second turn right, go straight until the whale then turn left, it’ll be the second room on the right for Yaz and on the left for Graham and Ryan. Hurry up!” she’s already shooing them away, one hand on the console, programming their journey.

“Second turn… Doc?” the Timelord smiles to herself. Tiny human brains, brilliant but sometimes not reliable. 

“Will you show them the way, dear?” she leans down on the console and whispers the words directly to the machine. 

A serie of lights and beeps later, team TARDIS is choosing their clothes from the 1940’s area in the wardrobe.  
\-------------------------  
Ryan and Graham of course have the easiest pieces of clothing. A dark grey suit for Graham and almost a TARDIS blue one for Ryan. Their attires are simple: well done shoes, a tie and a handkerchief in the front pocket. Graham is adjusting the one in Ryan’s pocket when the Doctor comes back.

To the men’s surprise, she was wearing a suit, though not exactly a men's suit, well manly clothes to be honest. The Doctor is wearing black swing pants. They’re high-waisted with 4 buttons on the side instead of the classic zipper and are supported by black braces. The silky white blouse is tucked loosely in her trousers and though it’s clearly a woman’s blouse, it still has a chest pocket in which she folded a purple handkerchief, just to have a dash of color, but also choosing that color carefully. The Timelord accessorized it with a loose narrow black tie, finishing her look with a pair of black Oxfords and a straight cane with a silver round handle. She looks feminine and quite sexy, judging by the dropped jaws of her male companions. 

“Doc… uhm… you know you are female at the moment, right? Not that I mind the Lauren Bacall look” Graham asks tentatively.

“Yes but I just couldn’t figure the dress out… You have no idea how complicated those things are! I almost died in there! Besides, I’ve always been kind of a rebel, where do you think Lauren got that look anyways… She was so mad at Frank when I brought him back home that night… “ she says twirling a black cane, before leaning on it in a Charlie Chaplin way. The Doctor doesn’t understand why Ryan and Graham’s mouths go from big smiles to perfect O in a second. Not until she follows their gazes to the source of amazement. 

And if the two thousand plus year old alien had not been leaning on the skinny cane she’s using as prop, she would have fallen down her knees in admiration or adoration or maybe both. 

To say that Yasmin Khan is a vision of pure delight, in the Doctor’s mind, is not doing her justice. Though what she chose could easily be worn in her own 21st century, it is no less making her look as gorgeous on the outside as she is on the inside.

She chose a deep wine red lace covered dress stopping right under the knee, as is proper for this era. She’s also wearing a black jacket with short sleeves covering her arms from elbow to shoulder. Her hair is all pinned up in a lovely bun, similar to the one she wore when they visited the Punjab, except this has more curls and twists in a truly 1940’s way. Her shoes are simple open pumps, with a single strap around her ankle and a short heel giving her a couple of centimeters more of heights. 

“So… what do you think?” she says, suddenly very self conscious under the scrutiny of her friends. She turns, the dress skirt lifts a little at the motion. One of the Doctor’s hearts skips a beat while the other simple stutters at the sight of the line going all the way down the back of her legs indicating stockings. 

“Oh doll, you’re gonna be breaking hearts this evening.” the Doctor says, voice low and seductive, taking a couple of stride to present her arm for Yasmin to hold onto, already in character “Shall we?”

“Oh will I? I guess I’ll need a strong man to protect me, a poor dame, from all those bad wolves out there. Will you guard my virtue, Doctor?” she answers, blushing as she takes in the Doctor’s fashion choice. Her hand slides on the alien’s arm and they’re off to the door. “And you don’t look too bad yourself either” she murmurs for only the Doctor to hear. And for the first time since she met her, she sees the alien blushing.

Neither daring to speak one more word, or maybe too busy undressing each other in their mind. They don’t see the knowing looks between Ryan and Graham.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to hear what the music sounded like in the bar, I suggest those playlists on youtube:  
> \- https://youtu.be/9jwPqDVtsTU  
> \- https://youtu.be/GwgxgKZ0XNc (<\- the one I listened to most)  
> I don't have a particular song in mind for this dance. Pick any swing music you like, and if you want, let me know about it :)  
> With the help of my wonderful betareader, we found the Crown and two Chairmen. It was an actual gay bar in London in the 40s. It still exists in Soho but I don't think it's gay anymore.   
> As for the drinks, I just picked 5. I think they were already around back then...   
> But mostly, sorry for any inaccuracies... point them out though! I'd love to learn!

The bar is a rather small place compared to some of the one Yaz and Ryan have seen in the 21st century. It’s situated in Soho, on the corner of two streets. It looks small on the outside but once they step in, they’re actually surprised by the spacious place inside. The sturdy bar backed with just enough alcohol to sustain customers in this difficult time, the wooden panels on the walls making the place look intimate and inviting, the furbished seats in the various alcoves hiding young and old forbidden love from the eyes of strangers, even the dimmed lights seem to be protecting them. Everything screams the 1940’s. But the general feeling is cozy and the music, played by a real band and sung by a real singer, is just the right amount of loud to allow conversation but to also let you get lost in it. 

“Welcome to the Crown and two Chairmen! This is one of the secret gay bars in London during this hard time or as they used to call it one of “London’s Bohemian rendezvous”. Everybody was welcome here as long as they didn’t make a fuss. So, don’t make a fuss!” the Doctor says with excitement in her voice, finger-pointing at Graham and Ryan who take offense.

“Doc, YOU’re the one to usually make a fuss” Graham points out.

“Oh… right… of course… well… have fun, then! You two, go get us some drinks, Yaz and I will get us a table” and just like that the Timelord is already pulling her human companion away. She faintly hears Graham mumbling something about what is he supposed to order and with what money but she doesn’t care. 

They settle for one of the empty alcoves. Bright red furbished benches on each side, sturdy table with a small lamp standing on it. The Doctor hushes Yaz on one of the benches and follows her on it, sitting by her side. 

“I thought we came here to dance, Doctor” Yasmin whispers in the blonde’s ear, shivering at their proximity and all the things that could happen, that do in a parallel universe, maybe. She wishes she had the time to dream about being alone with the Doctor, how she would whisper sweet words in her ear while her hand traced patterns on her thigh. She promptly casts the image away, saving it for later, maybe. Probably.

“Oh I don’t dance. I mean I can. Of course I can. Two thousand years old, of course I have danced. I’ve got moves you know. Oh this feels incredibly familiar… I’ve had this conversation before… Have we had this conversation before?” she does look confused for a second “Ah no, we haven’t! It was with… nevermind” she stops herself and turns to focus on the singer and band on stage. It seems Rose has showed up in her mind more times than not recently. The woman who saved her. The one who taught her about love again. She reminded her that the universe isn’t such a bad place after all. And that it’s still worth saving. In that, Yaz is not different from Rose. They would probably have gotten along fine. And that’s somehow a terrifying yet thrilling thought for the Doctor.

Yaz can’t help but notice the sadness in her eyes. No, not sadness. Longing, maybe? Her voice may seem happy and almost carefree at times but tonight, her body language is telling something else. Something Yaz has yearned to ask about for so long now. As softly and as gently as she can, she puts her hand on the Doctor’s arm on the table, startling her back to her. 

“Tell me about her. Please?” Yaz asks quietly, smiling. The alien stares at the hand on her harm, distracted by the thumb rubbing gentle circle on the fabric of her blouse. She feels like under a spell. 

“Her name was Rose… She was- Oh you’d have liked her, Yaz. She was brilliant! Kind, curious, beautiful, you remind me of her in many many ways.” the Doctor says with a big smile, looking at Yaz. But in the next second, her face completely changes. Memories are a tricky thing, one second you’re dancing in the TARDIS and the next you’re burning up a sun to say goodbye.

“What happened to her, Doctor?” asks Yaz, her other hand joining the first in a comforting attempt.

“Oh she’s alive. I think. Probably. But she’s in a parallel universe now. With my clone and-”

“So, we had no idea what you wanted to drink so we just ask for the top 5 cocktails their selling here… Are we interrupting something?” Ryan says oblivious to the emotions playing at the table.

“Yes” and “No” come at the same time. The alien and human smile at each other, both knowing this conversation will be picked up at another time.

“Not at all Ryan, and that’s brilliant strategy! What do you have?” she smiles at him.

“oooh-kay… so I have Gin & Tonic, Daiquiri, Side Car, French 75 and a Bloody Mary. Would you believe that the barman told me those were brand new types of cocktails?! Oh and a handsome Marine flirted with Graham” he states flatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how much you hate me in the comments... ;) I promise, the smut is coming... but you know you love the slow burn... ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still recommending this playlist : https://youtu.be/GwgxgKZ0XNc. I don't have a particular song in mind for this dance. Pick any swing music you like, and if you want, let me know about it :)
> 
> Moonlight Serenade, you can listen to it here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TB_8H23EDI. It always makes my heart go soft and longing. And until my rewatch of Nine, I had forgotten they used it for Rose and Jack.

The Doctor’s mood has definitely lightened up after the first drink and Yaz could swear she’s a bit tipsy thinking that the drinks served in the 40s might actually be stronger than the ones in her own time.

“So, Graham, you’re ready to dance, yeah? Let’s go!” the Doctor suddenly gets up and grabs Graham’s hand, pulling him away before he can protest. Yaz feels a pang of jealousy but Graham was after all the one requesting this, it’s only fair. She feels like the teacher’s pet not being paid attention to. It annoys her and, alcohol helping, she huffes out as she sits back on her seat to pout. 

“Aaah DOC!” Graham says loudly, almost tripping on himself as he’s being pulled out and almost dragged to the dancefloor. It’s a small square big enough for a dozen couples to move around if they don’t mind their personal space being invaded. 

“Come on, Graham! Let’s swing! You know how to swing now, right?” the Doctor says snapping her fingers to the rhythm.

“Oh Doc, you’re in for a treat!” And he grabs her hand properly and makes her twirl. They both laugh and just continue to dance, twirl and turn for a little while. Unbeknownst to them, they’re being carefully spied upon by a dark shadow at the bar.

Yaz is alone in the booth now, Ryan was getting them second drinks and she could see he was busy talking with people at the bar. She smiles softly noticing a beautiful girl looking at him and him being completely oblivious to her. She’s happy that he’s getting out of his comfort zone a little bit more each day and daring things though. 

“A beauty like you should be on the dancefloor. What are you doing here all alone, sweetheart?” the voice is low and soft. When Yaz turns her head to see who it belongs to, she’s a bit taken aback. A beautiful woman is leaning against the frame of their alcove. “I’m Lana. Come dance with me?” she asks directly, not really caring for the answer to her previous question. And maybe it’s the Daiquiri or maybe it’s the jealousy, but she takes the hand of this charming stranger paying attention to her and lets herself be guided to the dancefloor.

When they reach the space, the music has already changed and something the Doctor recognizes really well starts playing. Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. Rose and Jack’s song, she thinks with a pang of old jealousy. But before she can dwell further on the memory, she feels Graham pull her closer to dance in a more appropriate fashion to the music. She lets him, he’s her friend and a good dancer. That’s only until he turns them around and the Doctor’s hearts sink to her feet at the same time as a rush of anger floods her veins. Yaz is dancing with another. And said other is holding her really tight. Too tight. Why is she touching her Yaz? And why is Yaz smiling like that?

“Are you okay, Doc? You’re all straight all of a sudden” Graham asks softly. The Timelord doesn’t answer, she hasn’t even heard the question. Yaz’s eyes met her and they’re both locked in their own bubble. The companion’s gaze is daring her to do something, the Doctor knows it. “Doc?”

“Yes Graham, yes, perfectly fine! Good dancer you are! Great! All the points to Graham! Excuse me, I’m gonna- I have to-” Graham follows the Doctor’s gaze and sees Yaz.

“About time, Doc! Go get her! I’ll be at the bar” and just like that, he’s already gone, leaving the Doctor standing alone in the middle of all the dancing couples. Yaz, who knows what’s about to happen, can’t help but smile in her partner’s shoulder, hiding it the best she can.

“Uhm excuse me, doll, may I have the next one?” the Doctor asks as plainly and politely as she can, trying to suppress the will the just separate them there and then. And thank goodness, Moonlight serenade is on its final notes.

“Yes!” says Yaz a bit too enthusiastically “Uhm I mean, thank you for the dance, Lana, it was amazing!” Lana, suspicious but knowing they did enter the bar together, bows down.

“It was my pleasure, sweetheart. Come find me if you need another partner” she winks and disappears. Yaz and the Doctor are standing in front of each other and all of time and space seems to disappear around them. The music is changing. Another song. Gone is the jealousy plaguing the Doctor’s hearts. Gone is the loneliness darkening Yaz’s mind. They step towards each other and the Doctor puts a hand on the human’s hip and takes her hand with the other. Yaz’s free hand flies to the blonde’s shoulder. Their touch is electrifying and soothing all at once. They belong. 

\--------

Graham is at the bar, waiting for the drink he just ordered when he feels someone sitting on the empty stool next to him.

“You’re quite the dancer! Care for another one?” he turns and sees the man next to him. The same Marine who flirted with him earlier. Now, Graham has always labelled himself as straight. But recently, with Grace passing and his travels with the Doctor, he’s come to the conclusion that maybe he should try new things. Besides, there’s no harm in a little flirting, right? 

“Thank you! But not now. I’m not as young, you know… can I offer you a drink instead? I’m Graham by the way.” he hails the barman.

“With pleasure! And you’re still young, Graham! Young and handsome! I’m Jack, delighted to meet you!” Jack’s smile is big, bright and genuine. And to be quite honest, Graham can feel a butterfly flying around in his stomach. He blames it on the attention and the Gin & Tonic he had earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang on, the story is about to begin ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah the dancing... Isn't it marvelous, dancing with your loved one? Having the world disappeared for a song? Having the singer put your feelings into words? Yes... must be wonderful... When you're single, not so much, though! That's why God created fanfics!  
> Anyways, this is the song: https://youtu.be/kTKL15YUyKk?t=114  
> The video starts in the middle, I encourage you to listen to it from the begining (it's Moonlight Serenade) to bring you back into the mood... Plus it's just a lovely song. Hope you'll enjoy ;)

_ Why do robins sing in December _ _   
_ _ Long before the Springtime is due? _ _   
_ _ And even though it's snowing, violets are growing _ _   
_ __ I know why and so do you

“I thought you’d never ask me to dance with you” Yaz confesses softly, avoiding the Doctor’s eyes or maybe just being mesmerized by her lips for a second. They’re swaying gently to the music, still at respectable distance, their bodies carefully not touching.

“And why wouldn’t I dance with you, Yasmin Khan? You are amazing, brilliant! Of course I would dance with you! I love.. dancing with you!” the Doctor whispers back, her eyes searching her companion’s. They both fall into silence for a few seconds, until Yaz can’t hold the question anymore.

“Is that what we’re doing, Doctor? Dancing around each other but barely touching each other? Hold me, Doctor” Yaz feels bold tonight. The proximity of the Doctor and the softness of her palm in hers makes her own personal filter disappear. Her loneliness is too much to bear this evening. And it would seem the Doctor feels the same. She feels the hand that was resting on her hip sliding to the small of her back, urging her forward, pressing her body flush against the Timelord’s. She gasps at how close she suddenly is to the Doctor, so close she can see a universe in her eyes and the light blush on her cheeks. So close, the lips of the blonde woman are all she can focus on. And before doing something she might regret, she ducks her head and hides her face in the warm inviting space of the Doctor’s neck. 

_ Why do breezes sigh every evening whispering your name as they do? _ _   
_ _ And why have I the feeling stars are on my ceiling? _ _   
_ __ I know why and so do you

The Doctor brings their joined hands back on her chest, making sure that Yaz’s hand is on her own chest. She delights at the warmth it radiates. The thumb of her other hand, on the human’s back, is absent-mindedly tracing circles, feeling the lacey fabric of her dress. 

Yasmin’s palm on the Timelord’s shoulder couldn’t stay still either and has since then traveled to the back of her neck. She is now gently playing with the soft young hair at the base of her skull, sometimes feeling the shivers this simple action is sending through the Doctor’s body. 

“I do, you know…” she says, lost in her thoughts. The warm air caressing the soft skin under her mouth makes the blonde gulps.

“What?” the Doctor’s voice is rough, as if she hadn’t spoken for centuries. Her human companion chuckles.

“I do have the feeling stars are on my ceiling. And I know why. Do you?” Yaz asks the last part under her breath. The courage she had earlier seems to have left her, her knees are now weak with apprehension and her heart is stuttering when she reluctantly lifts her head to look in the Doctor’s eyes.

_ When you smile at me I hear gypsy violins _ _   
_ _ When you dance with me, I'm in heaven when the music begins _ _   
_ _ I can see the sun when it's raining, hiding every cloud from my view _ _   
_ _ And why do I see rainbows when you're in my arms? _ _   
_ __ I know why and so do you

“I-” but the Timelord isn’t allowed to go any further. Her words are cut short by Yaz’s lips on hers. Her kiss is delicate and gentle. Her palms, now on her jaws, are warm and soft on her skin. The Doctor loses herself in the sensations. Her hands are both on Yaz’s back now, one makes contact with naked skin. It’s almost too much and she cannot hold back a moan.

That’s the moment Yaz chooses to deepen the kiss, pressing her tongue forward. Her hands slide from her jaws. One finds its way to the thin silky blonde hair, the other slips under the collar of her loose shirt, searching for more skin contact. 

Under the touch, the Doctor’s hand on Yaz’s bare back clenches and her nails dig a little in the skin. The sensation is too much for Yaz and she breaks the kiss, panting, resting her forehead on the Timelord’s. 

“I never want to leave you” she confesses in a shaky breath, with as much love and care she can possibly summon. 

Yaz doesn’t have time to see the Doctor’s face dropping from highest heights of happiness to the deep dark caves of painful memories. She parts from her in a second and runs for the door. Yaz is left standing there, dumbfounded and alone, on the dancefloor. She tries and tries to think about what just happened but she feels empty and quite honestly on the verge of tears. 

Ryan having seen the whole exchange, approaches and taps on her shoulder. Without a second thought, she grabs him in a hug. He’s the brother she never had or never knew she needed. He hugs her back, she’s shaking a little. 

“Yaz? Yaz! Are you okay? What happened? Why did she run off like that?” he all but shakes her out of it. And then, abruptly, her face brightens up, just like when she has a brilliant idea.

“I’m sorry, Ryan, I-” her smile from ear to ear, as bright as a sun.

“Yes, go! Go get her! About time if you ask me!” She doesn’t hear the last part, she’s already at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, according to my beta, I might have a hand fetish... oh well... Hope you liked it despite of it ;) Let me know :) And I promise, this is the LAST short chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Drama Part 1...

Too much. It’s all too much. The memories keep flooding the Doctor’s brain. The fresh air of the night had helped for a minute but she is still hyperventilating, her hearts are still thunder in her ears, blood pumping way too fast. Flashes of her life with Rose, of her life with Donna, Amy, Clara, Bill. It’s not that they left willingly. She put them in danger. Rose got trapped in a parallel universe, Donna, amazing Donna, she had to erase her memory. Amy and Rory displaced in time. Clara and Bill… their losses too tragic to even think about. Martha was right to leave when she did, she lived. The one human she managed to spare was the only one who decided not to follow her despite her feelings for her.

But Rose. That heartbreak happened over a thousand years ago and it’s still fresh. It still hurts. And now Yaz. Brilliant, amazing, beautiful Yaz. She wants to stay with her forever. What is forever when you travel with the Doctor? A month? A year? A day? 

“No no no” she mumbles to herself, out of breath, unable to stop herself. She is leaning, facing the wall when Yaz finds her. 

“Doctor?” the human companion approaches gently, hands reaching to rub her back “You’re having a panic attack, Doctor. Please turn around. It’s gonna be fine.” she helps the alien turn and lean against the wall. But in all her hope to help, it seems she only doubles the attack. “Doctor! I know what you’re thinking! Please, come back to me! I am not Rose. I am not your previous companions. Please! Look at me!” she shakes her head helplessly. Feeling out of air, she grasps at her blouse.

“I’m sorry I have no choice” and time stops. Yaz’s lips are on her again. Each and every thought disappears, allowing every cell in her body to focus on the sweetness and warmth against her mouth. They kiss until Yaz feels the Doctor’s breathing slowing down. When she pulls away, she’s still pressing the Timelord’s body against the wall with her own.

“I’m sorry I had to stop-” she can’t finish her sentence. The Doctor’s mouth takes hers again, for a real kiss. It’s not delicate and gentle anymore. It’s urgent and needy. The Timelord sucks on her companion’s bottom lip, demanding, craving. Yaz allows. She all but melts into the kiss. It has barely been seconds but she has been missing it terribly, their embrace earlier having been cut short with Yaz’s unfortunate words.

The Doctor’s hands, previously still, are not flying all over Yaz’s back; one on the middle, making sure she stays pressed against her, the other going up to find the naked skin she knows is there. 

As for Yaz’s hands, they rapidly find their way up on the back of her neck to resume their hunt for contact. Contentedly, one finds that the hair is still soft when her fingers pull ever so slightly on them. The fingertips of the other graze on the skin still warm under the collar of her blouse. Yaz moans into the Doctor’s mouth, slightly stumbling under her own dizziness, letting her body fall a little bit further into her, if that’s even possible. 

The blonde takes this opportunity to turn them around, pressing the human against the wall. She leaves her mouth with a quick nip on her bottom lip and starts kissing her jawline. Yaz’s balance is unstable so she holds onto the Doctor’s shoulders as best she can. It seems to register in the alien’s mind because she presses her body into Yaz’s, pulling a deep groan out of her.

“Doctor” she says in a breath when the Timelord nips on a particular spot behind her ear. And suddenly, nothing seems enough anymore. Their bodies, already pressed against each other, seem desperately too far apart. The Doctor needs to be closer. Impossibly closer. Her hands need more of Yaz. And they can’t reach her back anymore. So one searches for her hand, pulls it above her head, pinning it to the wall and intertwines their fingers.

And the other goes down her body, feeling every form the dress accentuated. The side of her chest, the space below her ribs, the curve of her hip, the tone muscle of her thigh. Until finally, the tips of her fingers reach the hem of the dress. She gathers the fabric in her hand until it’s high enough she can feel the back of the knee under her palm. She lets go of the dress and her hand is sliding on the back of Yaz’s knee, pulling it up against her hip, thumb tracing patterns on the sensitive skin. 

“Oh god... “ Yaz moans in the Doctor’s ear, her hips bucking against the blonde’s when she feels the Timelord suck a bit too hard on her neck. Pleasure and pain mixing into each other. Her fist closes tight on the Doctor’s hair more as a reflex than an intent but the result is still breathtaking. The blonde, who a second ago was doing all ungodly things to her neck, stops and she faces Yaz again. Her eyes trails on the hickeys the human knows she left behind. When they eventually look at her, the galaxies Yaz saw earlier tonight are all gone. Only the darkness of lust remains. 

The companion takes a second to admire the view: messy hair, lips reddened, cheeks flushed with deep pink, mouth slightly open and out of breath. The Doctor’s focus is on Yaz. Completely and utterly. The Timelord leans to kiss her again. The urgency has left. She gently brushes her lips.

When she opens her eyes again, as she feels the Doctor’s lips leave hers, she immediately notices the change. Her eyes are pained again. The dark lust in them is gone and the soft brown Yaz has grown to love reappears. And the human companion knows what’s coming but she is unable to prevent it. How do you stop a storm? You wait it out. It doesn’t make it less painful.

“I’m sorry, Yaz. I’m so sorry.” and Yaz doesn’t know what hurts most: the words themselves or the broken tone they were delivered in. The Doctor hasn’t let go of her yet: her palm is still on her thigh beneath her dress, her body is still pressed against hers, her hand is still holding hers firmly above her head. Yaz presses on the back of her head to bring her closer to her lips. She tentatively kisses them, pouring all the love and tenderness she can it it.

“Don’t be. Please, don’t be. Don’t take off again...” her voice is soft and desperate, barely above a whisper. Her heart breaks when the Doctor lets her leg down and bring her hand down. It shatters when she takes a step back.

“I’m sorry” 

\-----------------------

Once Yasmin left, Ryan turns to the bar, finding himself alone on the dancefloor, standing there like an idiot. He tries to spot Graham but no luck. Naturally, he heads back to their booth and spots him there. He seems to be in deep conversation with someone. 

“-so that’s why being a bus driver is actually the best job in the world! Oh hey Ryan, what’s up, son?” Ryan, still a bit irritated to be called like that, realizes he’s actually beaming. Radiating even. And… is that a hand carelessly touching his? A man’s hand, no less? Now, don’t get him wrong, Ryan is pretty open-minded, and if he wasn’t before, traveling with the Doctor does that to you anyway. But he’s only seen Graham holding his Nan’s hand. 

“Uhm… yeah… who are you?” the question directed to the stranger comes off a bit too protective for his liking. The handsome fella doesn’t seem to care. He presents his hand to shake, the same one Ryan sees leaving Graham’s with relief.

“I’m Jack, and who would you be, sexy?” Jack says with his trademark wink and smile.

“Only his grandson! What’s that? What are you doing?” he points at the two of them, the half-emptied drinks, the space their hands were touching a second ago, their smiles, everything really. And Graham, in the meantime, thanks whatever higher power that he’s sitting: his grandson!

“Your dashing granddad here was explaining me why being a bus driver is the best, of course. What else do you think we’re doing?” Jack answers in the sweetest most innocent manner he can muster. Which, of course, being Jack, is really not much.

“Mmh... “ Ryan hums, not trusting one word of it and already being onto Jack “I’m gonna go get you some water, granddad… Hands stay ON the table, you hear me! I’m watching you.” he leaves when Jack gives him a quick salute and an aye aye Sir. He doesn’t notice the overwhelmed look on Graham’s face.

It takes all the walk to the bar for him to realize that he just naturally called Graham his granddad. It makes him smile. It’s taken time travel to understand that family is beyond blood. It’s taken Graham flirting with a dude to see him as a parent. His Nan is probably telling every angels up there “see, I told you he’d come around”.

“Boy, you look like a dog with two tails! Bartender! I’ll have 2 of what he’s having!” of course the order was empty, but the woman sitting next to him screamed it anyway “I’m Barbara… Barb to my friends, well the ones still around anyway, damn war…”

Ryan, gobsmacked at the goddess in front of him, wheezes out his name. The dame chuckles, but not to mock. She’s far too beautiful not to know the reaction she creates in people.

“I’m sorry, champ, I didn’t quite get that. Could you swallow that cat and start again? Promise you, I won’t bite” and he swears, she gives off the same vibe as Jack when she winks to him.

“Ry- uhm I’m Ryan” he clears his throat. His brain doesn’t seem able to form a single relevant thought to engage conversation. The only thing he comes up with is  “Care to dance?”

“I thought you’d never ask, Ryan” her beautiful red lips part into the most radiant smile. She takes Ryan’s hand and they go flying to the dancefloor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cruel... I KNOW!!! Tell me how much in the comments! I love you all though!
> 
> I'm sorry if the panic attack wasn't accurate. I've ever only had the one and it was 20 years ago. So basically it's just what I've seen on TV... 
> 
> Also when I wrote this, the whole Granddad hadn't happened yet!! I'm so happy it did tho! SO DAMN HAPPY!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please refer to this post (http://allmykindsofthings.tumblr.com/post/180583958418) if you forgot how the Doctor and Yaz look like. I just want that fresh in your memory ;)
> 
> Also, here comes Drama Part 2!

“I’m sorry” the Doctor says, aching, unable to hold Yaz’s gaze anymore. The small step she took a second ago feels like being torn apart from her. Until she is stopped.

“No.” there’s determination in the small human’s voice and her hands are gripping the Doctor’s suspenders tightly.

“Yaz, I-” the blonde starts, confused.

“I said, no.” she leaves no room for argument so the Doctor just stands there, silently, still gazing at their feet. Yaz waits until she looks at her again before she starts talking. And it seems the words cannot be stopped anymore. Enough is enough. 

“I don’t pretend to know or even understand your pain and what you’ve been through in all your travels. But the people you’ve lost, they’re written all over your face. I don’t know them but I see them. Doctor, I have seen you shown kindness and care for complete strangers. I was one of them! To be… To be loved by you, any kind of love given from you, even for a minute, to know that whatever happens to me, I’ll be with you forever, I’ll be remembered forever, that’s worth every death. I-” 

“Is that what you want, Yasmin Khan? Immortality? I would never have thought-” Yaz feels like she’s being scolded by her favorite teacher. 

“No! That’s not it! I-” the little bit of shame she feels at the reprimand makes her cheeks blush. It dissipates swiftly as the Doctor continues.

“I don’t age, Yaz. I regenerate. I am virtually immortal. Definitely, on human scale. And you, you will wither and die. If I don’t get you killed before that. Imagine watching that happen to someone you lo- I’ve walked this road before. I hate it. I don’t hate much, but I hated that.” the Doctor’s face shows how serious those words are. It’s a face Yaz has seen maybe once or twice. For a second, it scares Yaz to have caused such emotions but there are things to be said and now is just as good a time as any. They can’t go back on what they shared already anyway. 

“I can protect myself, Doctor. I am far from helpless despite what you seem to think. I am not asking for your protection. I am asking you this very simply: can you love me today? Not tomorrow. Not in an hour. Now.”

“But tomorrow always comes. Always… and you’ll be gone. And I’ll be alone, again, back in the box with broken hearts, AGAIN!” her voice breaks a little and her eyes avoid Yaz’s again. 

“You are immortal, Doctor-” she says softly.

“Well… technically…” she murmurs with a sad smile.

“Virtually immortal then. You are a being of love. You cannot- Have you ever stopped falling in love?” Yaz asks earnestly. The Doctor can feel there’s a point to this question but she fails to see it.

“I’ve tried…” she answers tentatively.

“How did that work out for you?” one of the companion’s hands lets go of the braces and moves to caress the blonde’s cheek. She knows the answers, she knows the Doctor is incapable of being indifferent. Because she realised a long time ago that a being like her, without that level of care, and of course love, for the universe would never have helped them back in Sheffield. That kind of person would never even have taken a second look to her.

“I met my wife…” and suddenly Yaz’s hand feels like it’s been burned by the skin under it. It falls back on the suspenders, absentmindedly holding onto them. Maybe she’d been reading this wrong all along. Maybe she shouldn’t have put an alien on a pedestal. Her heart sinks a little. 

“You wi-okay… Oh God… what am I doing... “ her breath quickens but the Doctor covers her hands with her own, preventing her of letting go. 

“No… No! She’s… it’s complicated… really complicated… and a very long story…” she smiles, not a trace of foul play on her face. Her thumbs are rubbing light soothing patterns on the delicate skin of her hands. Yaz focuses her gaze on that.

“Are you single now?” the question is barely above a whisper and Yaz is a afraid of the answer.

“By human standards, yes” Yaz releases the breath she was holding and smiles again, amazed at the Doctor, all over again. She hasn’t forgotten about her wife but decides that’s a question for later. 

“You know sometimes you say the weirdest things…” she states, looking up.

“I’ve been told…” they stare at each other for a moment, eyes wandering from hair to lips and everything in between, just seeing the other under a new light. All fears and questions have been laid bare. Most of the words have been said. There is one last thing Yaz has to voice to make clear. 

“Somewhere between that train in Sheffield and 1941, I fell in love with you” she confides, looking the Timelord right in the eyes. 

“I know” she stares right back.

“So have you” Yaz states matter-of-factly.

“I know” the alien answers all the same.

“So? Do you think you can weather another broken heart tomorrow?” the meaning behind it is heavy, and Yaz knows she’s literally putting an expiration date on their relationship or however the Doctor wants to label this or not. 

“Does it mean I get to love you today?” she asks, the double entendre clear in her tone.

“Yes” Yaz chuckles.

“Yes” she breathes the word on her companion’s lips before kissing her tenderly.

The passion between them doesn’t take long to reignite, fire burning hotter than before. This time however, Yaz is the one to lead. Or rather pull when she grabs the Doctor’s tie and guides her to the dark alleyway on the side, seductively inviting her to follow. And for once, that is exactly what the Doctor wants to do. It’s the only thing she wants to do. 

Yaz leads the doctor far into a dark alley looking for a spot not visible to any passerby. She checks her surroundings again and with no hesitation, she pushes the Doctor against the wall. If it was too abrupt, the Timelord didn’t seem to mind. At all, judging by her loud gasp. Her hands fly to the human’s body, touching everything within their grasp, settling once again on Yaz’s naked upper back. Her fingers itching to get lost in her beautiful dark hair but not daring to disturb the beautiful hairdo. All her thoughts about the matter are cut short when her companion’s body leans against her, and her upper thigh applies firm but teasing pressure where she needed it the most. The Doctor’s nails leave red marks on Yaz’s bare shoulders, making the human companion hum her approval and shudder under them. 

“Oh Yaz…” she moans as Yaz watches in delight. The human is already set on her next target, and as her hands are popping one button and then the next, her lips are way too distracting for the Timelord to notice. When access is finally clear, she sucks on the sensitive skin of her throat as her hands slide under her blouse to cup her breasts.

“No bra, Doctor? Is that usual or just for me?” her words are hypnotizing for the Timelord. She could recite the entire Shadow Proclamation for all she cares and she’d still feel this aroused. And being aroused in this new body was absolutely thrilling and frustrating.

“Yes…” is all the very eloquent alien can come up with under the perfect hands of a small young human. Yaz presses her thigh further up, eliciting a heavy moan.

“Well?” she says as she catches the lobe of her ear between her teeth, pulling just the right amount.

“For you, only for you” the Doctor confesses, close to whining. Satisfied with the answer, Yaz leaves a trail of kisses and lovebites as she goes down to her chest. The tip of Yaz’s tongue teases her hard nipple and the Doctor feels her leg become jelly. 

“Oh pl- Oh Stars!” her hips rock on the firm thigh, seeking the friction she needs but Yaz keeps it out of reach. 

When Yaz considers her job well done on this nipple, she goes to give the same treatment on the other. The Doctor hisses as the cool air of the night hits her wet and very sensitive nipple and Yaz smiles against her skin. 

“More?” she asks, coyly, giving one last quick lick on the hard nipple. She straightens up, awaiting an answer. It takes a second for the Doctor’s lust-soaked brain to come up with an answer, let alone formulate one.

“I wanna taste you, Yasmin Khan” and Yaz was definitely not expecting this answer. The Doctor uses her surprise as an advantage and turns them around for the second time tonight. “Please?” she asks, a sudden blush on her cheeks.

“Yes” she answers, leaning more against the wall, hands surrendering. She smiles at the flash of hesitation passing on the Doctor’s face.

The Doctor on her knees, with one of her legs hooked on her shoulder is almost too much of of a sight for Yaz. She feels her arousal coiling deep within her. She can’t hold back her moan at the idea of what’s to come. Specially not when the Timelord’s lips are finding their way up her stocking covered thigh. They soon find the bare skin between the end of the fabric and the hem of her underwear. The skin is soft and sensitive under her lips. She traces the border of the piece of clothing with the tip of her tongue. She feels the leg twitch under the assault. The fingers in her blonde hair close in a fist in anticipation.

“So perfect, Doctor… yes higher” she smiles against Yaz’s thigh and then decides to worry the tender flesh. She sucks gently on it before placing a kiss on the quickly bruising spot. Yaz’s praise only feeding her need to please her human companion. She grabs the latch of the garter belt between her teeth and starts to worry it, almost detaching it.

And all of the sudden, the Doctor stops and almost jumps up. The next thing Yaz knows, the Doctor is face to face with her. The warm breath caressing the skin of her thigh is gone and she’s left wanting, no, needing for more. The human groans in frustration. Not again. Not so close!

“Oh no! Yes! But no… Oh I knew it! Brilliant! Oh but he can’t know that I know… Absolutely fantastic though!” and she pops a kiss on Yaz’s lips, excited.

“What the f- DOCTOR?!” she grabs a wrist before the blonde manages to go out of reach. “What’s happening?!”

“Oh it’s brilliant, Yaz! You’re gonna meet an old friend of mine! Name’s Jack. He’s the Marine! He can’t know it’s me though. He’s amazing! He’ll try to flirt the stockings off of you though… Don’t let him. Those are mine!” she says, voice low and seductive, invading the human’s personal space.

“Yeah, and you’d have them in your hand right now if you weren’t thinking of this… this Jack!” she sneers back, knowing when the Doctor has that look on her face, nothing in the universe can stop her. “Fine… let’s go see this Jack… but this is far from over, Timelord.” She says, her index finger pressed on the blonde’s sternum. She smirks at the shaky breath the Doctor takes in. She takes a small step back before asking “how do I look?” her hand quickly feeling for her hair why she looks down on her dress, knowing her underwear is soaked under it. 

“Absolutely, positively, utterly gorgeous!” the Doctor answers, smittened. “How do I look?”

Without a second of hesitation, Yaz backs her up against the closest wall. She presses her body against her and cups her sex, firmly, leaving no room to interpretation. The heat between the blonde's legs is matching her own. She leans down to whisper to her ear “Like you were about to fuck me against that wall” The desperate moan escaping the Doctor is all the rewards she needs. The tip of her tongue caresses the shell of her ear and she takes a step back, releasing the now incredibly red Timelord.

“Come on then. Let’s go!” she smiles innocently.

Once she’s out of sight, the Doctor lets go of a breath she took a minute ago. Maybe this time, her lover might very well be the end of her. She ponders on that as she redoes the two buttons Yaz left open as she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, guys!! Just the one!  
> Oh but I loooved writing that one... what do you think will happen?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. Final chapter. I hope you'll like it.

The Doctor reaches the alcove they had previously settled in a bit after Yaz. Her compa- girlf-, none of those terms seems fitting for their situation. They’re either not intimate enough or way too painful. No, Yaz is just “her” Yaz, her now, her present. In more than one meaning of the word. And right now, Yaz is already sitting on the empty bench across Graham and dear old Jack. When Graham notices the Doctor next to him, he wants to introduce her.

“Jack, this is the most amazing woman in the universe! The Doc-” she cuts him. 

“Jane Smith. Doctor Smith. Titles, not important! Hello, Jack!” if Jack is suspicious of anything, he doesn’t show it. And the Doctor knows each and every one of the time traveler’s poker face. Her gaze leaves Jack’s very quickly and she falls into Yaz’s eyes. 

“Come, sit… Jane…” Yaz states, her voice low, smiling devilishly, petting the empty spot next to her. The Doctor smells a trap but the prize is just too tempting. Yaz stressed the name, as if testing it in her mouth. She knows all too well about Jane’s and John’s Smith. And somehow, she finds it suits her. A mystery wrapped in an enigma. God knows Yaz loves to crack a case. Just like that, her brain is already coming up with a plan.

“uhm… yes… Yaz, sure.” Yaz’s touches are still very vivid in her mind. She squirms a little as she scoots her way on the bench next to the human. 

“So Jack, what brings you around here?” the Timelord asks, knowing the answer will be fake anyways. Somewhere in this town, Jack hid an ambulance and it’s already been leaking. That poor boy is already both terrified and terrifying other kids searching for his mommy. But the Doctor knows that story has a happy ending. There’s no need to worry.

“Well, Doctor, I was having a quiet evening out, drinking a beer at the bar there and I saw this handsome fella over here….” as Jack explains the rest of his story, the Doctor’s mind drifts a little, going back to the alley, she blushes a little under her memories. And just like clockwork when her mind strays, Yaz is there to bring her back to reality.

“So what do you do for a living, Jack?” Yaz asks with her best and brightest smile. The Doctor’s face scronches a little. That’s her special smile! That’s her “the Doctor is brilliant” smile! And she is giving it to another, to Jack, no less?! But her jealousy is cut short when she feels a wam palm slide just above her knee. Her mouth stays open on a silent forgotten word for one second too many before she shuts it up quite abruptly.

“Oh you know, trying to help the war effort by… “ but Yaz really doesn’t care about his explanations. Many years and family events have taught her how to fake interest in conversation. And she became really good at it. No, all her attention is focused on her hand going up and down and higher up again on the inside of the Doctor’s thigh. She can barely hear her gasp in and let sharp breaths out. But judging by the silence coming from the blonde, she knows she’s hitting all the buttons.

“Oh Jane, haven’t you said you’ve visited London before?” and the Doctor is starting to hate that innocent smile. She hates that it makes her brain all mushy. But she loves how Yaz’s face just lights up. How the smile never fails to reach her eyes. A firm squeeze on her mid-thigh reminds her of the question.

“Y-yes… long time ago… as a child… nothing to tell. How about I go get us some drinks?” and sharp nails are digging into her flesh. Thankfully, her yelp is covered by Ryan barging in and sitting next to her.

“Hey Ryan! Last one to arrive, first one to get us drinks, yes? Same as before, that Daiquiri was to die for! Jane? Bloody Mary?” Yaz asks, smoothing her hand and petting the sore spot on the alien’s leg.

“Su-sure… Thanks, Ryan!” Graham gives her a worried look. He has never heard the Doctor speak in short sentences, let alone in just words. Suspiciously, he looks at Yaz. And that’s when he understands what’s going on. He chuckles. 

“Everything alright, Graham?” Jack asks softly, only for him to hear.

“Yes, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” he pets his arm on the table. For a few minutes, they just talk about nothing and everything, and oh how the Doctor hates smalltalk but her brain cannot come up with questions or opinions or even just coherent thoughts. Not with the palm radiating heat on her thigh like that. Not with Yaz looking as if everything was perfectly normal. How does she do that, anyway? That’s about where the Doctor is when Ryan finally gets back with the drinks. He sits next to the Doctor again, making the two women squeezing against each other so much, the Doctor is almost sitting on Yaz’s lap. Unbeknownst to any of their friends, the sudden shift in their seating has Yaz’s palm reaching higher and it’s now almost all the way up her thigh. 

“Jack, you must tell Ryan about that time you said you punched a Nazi in the balls!” Graham half-listens to the story again, observing the silent interactions between his friends is definitely more interesting. He sees the slight blush on the Doctor’s cheek grow and reach her ears. And seeing his friend having a bit of a fun, finally, makes him happy. 

Yaz decides to just leave her hand there, tracing patterns on the fabric. She alternates her touches: here with the soft pad of her fingers, there with the sharpness of her nails. The tips of the Doctor’s ears are as red as they’ll ever be. But it’s not enough for the human companion. She leans in, facing back when her lips reach the alien’s ear, making sure her words are for her, and her only.

“If we were not in public right now, I would be all over you.” she whispers in the Doctor’s ear. The Timelord gulps heavily. Satisfied with the reaction, Yaz keeps whispering “I can't wait until I get to rip this blouse off of you.” The Doctor whines into a cough. Yaz resumes her sitting, not far, but definitely too close to be called friendly.

“Sorry, mate… wrong pipe! Continue!” she lies to Jack, who looks between outrage to being interrupted so brutally and onto something when his eyes focus on the source of distraction. 

“Sorry guys, gotta go the the lady’s room… Jane? You coming?” it’s more a statement than a question really. Yaz’s hand is gone but the Doctor doesn’t know if her legs will function right now.

“I… uh… sure” and she is almost rushed out of the booth by a very hurried Yaz. She waits by the exit of the bench for her companion to show her the way. Afterall, she was the one in a hurry.

“You first… Jane” and here it is again. That tone in her voice that sends shivers down her spine. The good kinds. Not the “there might be a Vashta Nerada in that shadow” kind. 

“Whot? Why? I don-I don’t know where-” 

“Right over there, look, sign…” Yaz points at the universal toilet sign above a closed door on the other side of the bar. She bends a little toward her and murmurs “as for why, oh Doctor, that’s just because the view is far more enjoyable when I follow you” and with that, she softly spanks the Doctor’s behind as she passes in front of her, making the meaning behind her words crystal clear to the Timelord. Before she takes her step in the Doctor’s stride, she turns and winks at a whistling Jack. 

\-----------

The toilets are simple: one room, two stalls. Concrete walls, none of those panels you find in modern restrooms. Yaz is quite pleased at the discovery but spots that one of the stalls is already occupied. Before the Doctor can say a word she shushes her and abruptly grabs her by the tie to pull her in the empty room. The Timelord’s mind is too much of a whirlwind of emotions to protest. Besides, if she’s completely honest to herself, she doesn’t think she would. Humans, so interesting, so unpredictable. 

Yaz makes quick work of pushing the Doctor to the wall inside the room and turn the lock behind her. No running off for the Timelord this time. She puts a palm on the Doctor’s mouth, effectively silencing her. Yaz is a couple of centimeters from her face before she whispers, barely audibly. The blonde has a hard time refocusing on the words instead of the lips letting them out. 

“Can you hear me, Doctor?” she knows she can, times and times again the Timelord has bragged about her excellent hearing. And on cue, she nods. Her eyes opened wide in surprise at being manhandled this way. But surprise is far from being the only thing in the Doctor’s eyes tonight.

“Good… Do you want to play a game?” the blonde nods a bit too urgently. Yaz smiles and her other hand get to work on the buttons of her trousers. One, and then another and the human companion estimates it’s enough for what she has in mind. She slides her palm flat on the Doctor’s belly, pointing down, and delights at the sudden pick up in the blonde’s breath. There’s no point in more foreplay tonight, they both know it. 

“This game is fairly simple. You make one sound, and I stop.” she looks her directly in the eyes, making sure of two things: one, the Doctor gets the rule and two, implied in rule #1, she wants to play. The alien blinks a couple of time, doesn’t make a sound, and nods slowly. Her breath quickens as her eyes roll back behind her half-closed eyelids when Yaz’s hand descends slowly into her pants. 

“Tsk tsk tsk… we’re gonna have to talk about the concept of underwear, Doctor.” biting her bottom lip, Yaz barely holds a groan when her fingers don’t encounter any expected barrier. 

When the tip of her middle finger brushes against the Doctor’s clit, she feels the woman almost buckle under her. Yaz doesn’t know if it’s their present situation or the heavy petting from earlier that’s left the Doctor so wet and aroused. She doesn’t really care and she starts sucking gently on the tender skin at the base of her neck, right under the collar of her blouse. The blonde head rocks back surrendering herself to Yaz’s touch. It makes the human groan and graze her teeth onto the delicate skin in a possessive burst. She keeps rubbing softly on the bundle of nerves and, in a desperate attempt, the Doctor grinds on the teasing hand but Yaz has her pinned to the wall too well. When she fails, she tries to plead with her eyes, supplicate even, thinking that maybe Yaz will understand her need in her breathing. No result, either. But Yaz is smiling, and it’s that special kind of smile that makes the Doctor’s hearts stutter and skip a beat.

“You're doing such a good job.Such a good girl” under the praise, the Doctor feels the desire transform into a blinding need. She needs to be good for Yaz. To be good to Yaz. She needs Yaz. Plain and simple. The human companion doesn’t need her police training to notice the change in her demeanour: if the red blush on her cheeks wasn’t enough, the way her hands are clawing at her back is.

“You like that, don't you? Being told you’re doing a good job. That you’re such a good girl. Mmm, such a precious love you are…” Yaz hears the catch in her breath and the moan the alien managed to hold back in her throat. Her hand slips further down and she’s teasing her entrance. “You deserve a reward for doing such a good job, don’t you think?” without breaking eye contact, the Doctor nods, completely and utterly lost to the brown eyes staring back. “Yes, I think so too. Last chance to say no, Doctor” she waits for the blonde to nod again. 

As Yaz enters her, she replaces the hand on the Timelord’s mouth with her own lips, swallowing her content moan. The Doctor’s nails dig desperately into Yaz’s skin as the companion’s fingers form a tight fist in her blonde hair. Yaz’s rhythm is unforgiving and one last thrust has the Doctor quickly tensing up under her ministrations. She holds the human in a very tight hug, torn between being afraid to fall and the fall being all she wants. Her entire body takes the decision for her when Yaz applies the right pressure on her clit and makes her fall into bliss. 

Yaz lets her down from her orgasm gently, kissing her lips, her cheeks, her neck. Whispering sweet words in her ears, feeling the alien’s forehead press against the side of her head. She only lets her go completely when her breathing has calmed down and she deems the heart  beats normal enough. 

“I-…” but no word comes out. The Doctor can’t find any. Out of her extensive vocabulary, none are suitable to how she feels right now. She isn’t even sure she has fully processed what just happened. She feels contented, happy, serene. But also sad, anxious, and terrified. She’s in love. But voicing it, in plain and simple words, not in half-whispered innuendos, is still too real, too dangerous. Yaz, seeing all those emotions playing out on the Doctor’s face, simply holds her face in her palms to ground her back to her, back to now. 

“I know.” and just like that, under Yaz’s hands, under her gaze, the Doctor relaxes, her whole body softens against the wall. Her mind follows suite and she slightly blushes at the memories and how she felt under Yaz’s praises.

“Uhm… thanks for… Yaz- do you -should I-uhm?” Yaz laughs quietly, not having forgotten where they are.

“Oh Doctor, you are so adorable when you’re at a loss of words. But no, you don’t. We can pick this up later. Now… “ Yaz says, voice low, redoing the two buttons she undid earlier “I want you to get out of the stall and wait for me, okay?” the Doctor smiles and exits the stall on still-a-bit shaky legs.

A couple of minutes later, Yaz opens the door of the stall and stops mid-step to take in the sight in front of her. The Timelord looks breathtaking, leaning against the sinks, hands casually in her pockets. There’s still an almost undistinguishable blush on her cheeks but nothing that couldn’t be blamed on the general heat in this place. Not a trace of what just took place between them in her attitude or appearance. Except for her hair, still a bit messed up. Somehow, it goes perfectly with her character. 

“Hey Doll…” the Doctor says with all the confidence of someone who hasn’t just been fucked senseless against a wall. Yaz shakes her head and smiles. “Miss Khan, your smile is absolutely terrifying.” And the Doctor has flashback of the innocent smile she gave her before they re-entered the bar earlier tonight.

After double checking they’re alone, Yaz approaches the Doctor like a lioness approaching her prey. She decides to play in the banter the Doctor set up.

“Oh Mister… whatever are you doing in the ladies restrooms? Did you come to check on poor little me?” her voice is too sweet and perky, matching the damsel in distress in those old movies about the era she saw at her Nani’s when she was a teenager. She always saw herself as the prince in shining armor but what’s a little role reversal, specially with the Doctor looking the part.

“A sweet thing like you should never go anywhere by herself... “ the Doctor answers absentmindedly, completely distracted by the hazel eyes staring at her. This woman, this human is going to be the death of her. And deep down, she knows River would approve. 

“Thank you, Doctor. You’re so kind to me! I have a present for you!” she slips something in her pocket and kisses her sweetly on her cheek. Then leaves the room.

When the Doctor plunges her hand into her pocket, curious, the first thing she notices is wetness. She pulls whatever this was out and pushes it back in quickly, her eyes widening comically. Yaz has gone back to their booth commando.

Living in the now promised to be interesting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it, folks! I hope you liked it. I wanna thank you all for reading it. It means A LOT, like A LOT A LOT! You have no idea. As usual, let me know what you think! Don't be afraid to put as many details as you want ;) or none at all, it's fine too. Love y'all and already Happy Holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT : The images that inspired Yaz's and the Doctor's looks can be found here http://allmykindsofthings.tumblr.com/post/180583958418/. 
> 
> And as usual you can find me on Tumblr @allmykindsofthings.tumblr.com
> 
> Comments and kudos keep me running, please leave ideally both, at least one? Thank you ever so much <3


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